Spook *Pyro* (themonkeycabal) wrote,
Spook *Pyro*

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Don't panic, it is fic

I have like six of these pointless little stories now. I just have to decide if I don't entirely hate them and if I should then type them up -- that's hell of a stumbling block right there, my friends. But I did type up one!

Anyway, sometimes things just happen, and there's not always a good reason behind it, there's not always any reason at all behind it, sometimes things happen and there is a reason, but maybe it's all sort of ill-advised. But still, they just happen. Kind of like this fic.


Title: Our Life is Not a Movie or Maybe
Series: Covert Affairs, small crossover with Chuck
Rating: PG
Genre: Humor, Friendship
Spoilers: None, I think.
Summary: "It's weird, Auggie."
Disclaimer: Covert Affairs and all related characters and elements are property of NBC Universal, Chuck and all related characters and elements are property of Warner Bros. They are used here without permission.


Auggie Anderson was the perfect fusion of man and machine -- neck deep in analysis, headphones on, fingers flying over brail reader and keyboard, coffee near to hand, outside world far, far away. Until he felt the staring.

Contrary to the blind guy mystique he tried to project, he did not actually have a spidey sense. But, he could hear the way people moved around him, he could tell when they were trying to walk by softly to escape notice, or with a normal tread, not trying to hide. By the clarity of muffled quality of a voice he could tell if the speaker was turned towards him, or away from him. So, a weird hush, followed by murmured voices angled his way, and soft footfalls passing the door more often than usual, plus, well, maybe a little spidey sense, all added up to staring.

He was pretty sure Annie wouldn't let him spend half the day with something in his hair or mustard on his shirt, so he was fairly sure it wasn't him, or probably wasn't him in the way that it was something he really needed to worry or care about. However, the strange stilted movements around him were making it impossible to concentrate. Plus, it was just kind of irritating, really.

"So, what's up, Gary?"

He heard the startled reaction that sent the other man's pen spinning across the room and then the guilty shuffle. "Oh, nothing, Auggie."

"Uh, huh. How's that worm coming?"

"Um ..."

"Yeah, I'll let you get back to that." Auggie tossed a pointed look in Gary's direction and grabbed up his laser cane.

It wasn't hard to find Annie, she was tapping her fingers on her desk and absently clicking a pen. She was probably staring, too.

"I sense staring." He leaned back against her desk.

"Yeah, mostly at them though."

"Our guests?"


Auggie frowned. There had to be more to it than just their guests. Really, it's not like they never had visitors, however odd. "It's not uncommon for the CIA and NSA to work together. I mean, operationally, we tend to stay out of each other's way, but still."

"How often do agents actually get attached to the NSA?"

"Well ... that's probably not that common. They, you know, have their own agents."

"It's weird, Auggie."

"Not really."

"No, not that. Them. Weird, strange, freaky, bizarre, odd, unsettling--"

"Somebody ate the thesaurus for breakfast."

"Auggie, how many languages do I speak?"

His head bobbed backwards at the sudden non sequitur. "I have honestly lost count."

"So, do you think it might be just a tiny bit possible that I have some facility with my native language?"

Auggie laughed. "Possibly. So I take it you're staring, too. Want to clue me in on the big fascination?"

"I can't look away. They're our eldritch twins."

With a bemused smile Auggie angled his head down towards her. "Seriously? Eldritch twins?"

"Our doppelgängers, our freaky, mirror universe selves."

"I love it when you talk geek. Does he have a goatee?"

She snorted and flicked his thigh with a wicked snap of her thumb and middle finger. "Sadly not."

"So, I gather we're being stared at, too."

"Little bit."

"Describe them to me."

"Why? I just told you--"

"Yeah, yeah, our doppelgängers."

"You know, in the original German myth, if you saw your doppelgänger it meant you were going to die."


"I think they meant kind of more immediately."

"Good thing I'm blind. I promise to miss you, though."

"I expect an awesome wake."

"Please, it goes without saying. Party of the century." Auggie paused for a moment, listening to the room around him. By the hiss and flow of voices, he was guessing their visitors were over by Joan's office. "Do I have to invite Jai?"


"Maybe I won't miss you quite so much."

"Maybe you should hope I don't die and then you won't have to make that horrible, awful invitation."

"Glass half-full, huh? Interesting. So, what's she wearing?"

"You're a jackass."

"And you adore me for it."

He heard Annie's amused huff, and grinned down at her. "Come on, Walker. Help a blind guy out."

"Fine, fine. She's my height, maybe a little taller. Black suit, pencil skirt, white shirt--"

"Killer heels. Manolos, I think."

"Do you need me for this, really?"

"Totally. Paint me a picture."

"Blonde, slim, but curvy. You'd like her."

"What color are her eyes?"

"Um, blue I think."

"Ah, well, nobody's perfect." Auggie heard her muffled laugh. "And, I'm assuming he's devastatingly handsome."

She didn't bother to try and hide the next laugh. It felt a little too much like she was laughing at him. He frowned down at her and nudged her arm with his knee.

"Okay, okay, he's kinda cute, in that very nerdly, geeky way. So, yeah, like you." She nudged his knee back.

"You're a shameless flirt."

"Me? Mr. Girl-in-every-port."

"I haven't been to every port."



"Livin' the dream, Auggie."

He heard her shift in her chair, leaning back, sounding less bothered and distracted. Victory.

"You know it, babe." He crossed his ankles and started playing with the nearest object on her desk he could reach. "Back to painting."

"Oh, fine. He's tall, slim, but broad shouldered. Total swimmer's build. Again, like you."

"Annie, I'm blushing."

"No, you're not." She snatched the staple remover from his hand, and plowed on, "Dark hair, wavy sort of curly, but shorter than yours. No goatee."

"Not blind, though."

"Yeah, well, nobody's perfect," she tossed back in his direction. The teasing fondness in her voice was unmistakable and the words themselves drew a surprised and loud laugh from him.

"I think I'll keep you, Walker."

Annie ignored that, but groaned at something else. He heard her straighten up in her chair and shuffle some papers around her desk. "And now they're staring at us."

"Well, we are their eldritch twins."

"It's freaky, Auggie."

He reached out a hand, scanning her desk again. He found a pen before she could slap his hand away. "Tell me I'm not awkwardly caught in the middle of some weird stare-down?"

"I'm glaring at you."

"Oh, good move, Annie. You're bringing your big league stuff."

"Gee thanks, coach."

"What are their names again?"

"Carmichael and ..."

"And?" Auggie prompted, not bothering to try and keep the humor out of his voice.

"Like you've forgotten." He could almost feel her petulant glower, and it made his grin all the wider.

"Walker, wasn't it?"

"It's freaky," she grumbled at him.

"If it makes you feel any better, I'd bet those aren't their real names."

"Marginally. But, really, cover ID's here?"

"Those are the spooky spooks, Annie. Deep cover, black ops."

"He looks about as black ops as Danielle."

"That's kinda the point."

"He's wearing bright red Chucks."

"Ah, I thought I heard the tell-tale squeak."

"You know, from a distance, it is a pretty uncanny resemblance." Auggie groaned at the new voice breaking in to their tete-a-tete, ruining their fun. How did he completely fail to notice the sharp, yet somehow sickly sweet cloud of hair gel coming their way?

"Hey look, Annie, Jai's here," he said brightly. "Hi, Jai. Aren't you supposed to be in Belize?"

"No," Jai replied, sounding baffled.

"Oh, so that was just an awesome dream?"

Annie nudged his knee again. "Guys, really, knock it off."

"I didn't do anything," Jai protested, while Auggie just smirked in his general direction.

"Are they still staring?" Auggie asked.

"No," Annie confirmed with a sigh.

Jai hummed thoughtfully and leaned closer over Annie's desk. Auggie bristled a little at the sense of Jai a little too near on Annie's other side, but was smart enough not to show it. He hoped. Annie's elbows were sharp and a little too close to vulnerable bits, and she had no compunctions about injuring a blind guy.

"You know," Jai continued, propping a hip on Annie's desk. "I met her once in London. Rumor was Walker -- um, the other Walker -- was the late Director Grahm's personal dirty jobs agent."

"Dirty jobs?" Annie sounded dubious.

"I told you, Annie, the spooky spooks."

Jai, feeling Annie's attention slip away from him a little, spoke up again, eager, no doubt, to share his special knowledge. Auggie was almost sure he didn't scowl. "Something happened with her former partner. It was all pretty quiet, but there where whispers that he'd turned traitor. She was investigated, too, and then just sort of dropped off the grid."

Annie hummed and leaned back in her chair again. "Since she's here, I'd guess she wasn't guilty and didn't go rogue."

Jai shrugged. "Guess so. She'd pop up every now and then. Come to think of it, when that went down, that's about when Carmichael started showing up over the wires."

"Yeah, that's right," Auggie reluctantly confirmed. "That was, what? About four years ago? Five?"

"Yeah, about that."

"I have to admit, I honestly thought he was just a story we made up to keep the bad guys looking under their beds at night." Auggie shrugged.

"I did, too." Auggie assumed Annie made a confused face, because Jai continued. "You know, make up some Bond-like super spy the terrorists or foreign agents are always looking for, a distraction to keep them from noticing the real agents. Keep the bad guys chasing fairy tales."

"I'm really not getting super spy from him," Annie replied.

"Are you saying I don't look Bond-like?"

"If the Chucks fit."

Jai cleared his throat, interrupting. Again. "Though, I guess, if they're attached to the NSA..."

Jai's voice trailed off, and Auggie noticed both of them go still. At the same time the room became suddenly more quiet. Not silent, it was never silent in the DPD, but a hell of a lot quieter.

"Well, this doesn't look good," Annie muttered.

"Eyes, Annie," Auggie hissed down at her.

"Tiny red-haired woman in an Air Force uniform. Looks like a General."

Jai let out a low whistle. "The NSA director. Joan looks pissed, and Arthur just came in, too."

"Oh, damn," Annie whispered.

"What? Annie?"

Joan's voice cut like a knife across the DPD. "Annie, Auggie, my office. Now."

"Wow," Jai chuckled. "What did you two do now?"

"Nothing," Annie shot back. "Well, I haven't done anything. Auggie?"

"I've been a good boy lately."

"Today," Joan called. She wouldn't call them a third time, and there'd be hell to pay if they made her wait now.

Auggie stood and held his elbow out to Annie. "Come on, let's go meet our eldritch twins."

“Oh, goody.”

Tags: chuck, covert affairs, fic

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